Cancer; the reality

I am not going to lie and say that I am fine. I am not going to say that not crying while I am writing this either. Today has been a literal roller coaster. I woke up before my alarm due to stress. I knew today was the day I might get the results back from the biopsy. I couldn’t sleep, so I woke up early and got ready for school.

The only thing I could do at school was to keep looking at my phone and when the screen lighted up, my hear would skip a beat. I was finished at school at around 1-2 pm, went home and made something to eat. No call yet, and at 3, I went to the stables. Baldur greeted me as he always does. Stalked me around in the paddock while I was mucking. At times he would bump into my back with his muzzle for attention. I cuddled him, stroked him and I was just so happy in that moment.

After the stable chores, I took Baldur out for a bareback ride in the huge fields, and it was such a relief. To be able to breathe normally and enjoy the moment without worrying that I would get a call. Baldur was a total sweetheart. We cantered some, walked some, and stopped to enjoy the view. Baldur got some treats as well, he was such a good boy.

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Skipping to about an hour ago, I was sitting in bed watching a TV show. The clock was at 5:30 pm and I was at ease because I thought I would have to wait till Monday for the call. Out of the blue, my phone rang and it was the veterinarian. My heart stopped and I almost couldn’t bring myself to pick up.

The veterinarian could unfortunately confirm that Baldur has cancer. As it looks now, it is thankfully a benign cancer(papilloma). Of course, there is a risk that it can develop into a malignant cancer. On Monday, our veterinarian will talk to a specialist in equine reproductive organs and come to a conclusion on what treatments to go for. I will make sure that Baldur gets the best treatment possible, even if that means I have to live on the streets for the rest of my life. I can’t express enough how much this horse means to me.

I know this is a good case scenario for having cancer, but in my mind, cancer is cancer. And I am scared to death. I am so worried I am about to explode and I have no idea how to act and what to do. But I know one thing, at that is that I am going to do anything in my power to beat this cancer and get Baldur back in 100% health.

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18 thoughts on “Cancer; the reality

  1. Thank goodness y’all caught it early in the stages of being benign. I can’t understand what it’s like to get news that your horse has cancer, but I do know that benign tumors can be a blessing in disguise in many, many ways. I haven’t stopped praying for you guys ❤

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  2. Oh dear I can understand your stress and worry and concern and fears and all of that. However the news that it is a benign form is good news. It is. You have found this out sooner rather than later and so treatment can begin. It may take a while to learn to live with this news but you will. I shall pray to the Saint for animals ( St. Francis) and ask him to help Baldur.

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      • Having a horse is like having a child ( I have both even though my children are now adults) and the worry is hard. There is a saying that you can only be as happy as your least happy child ( or horse) so at least Baldor is happy in himself and this is a good sign I think.

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  3. Take a deep breath. It’s very scary but you caught it early and your vet sounds competent and keen to get the right advice from the experts. Don’t panic, though that must be hard before you have the full information. He is a very healthy, fit horse and he has a very loving human. Look after yourself this week, go for a run, make sure you eat and sleep well. You will both get through this xx

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  4. Reading this got me a little choked up. For me anyway it’s so easy to forget that our animals can get cancer aswell. It’s not something we typically think about when they become ill or even show signs. I’m glad you managed to find it at a good time. And I’m crossing everything that he gets through it 🤞

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    • Thank you. ❤ I guess I got a little backfire for being so pleased with owning a horse who had never been lame or had an injury. I guess that’s how the world works, karma is a bitch! But we will try out best to get through this!

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  5. Oh, Mathilde, I understand completely. Prayers with you and Baldur, and I’m so grateful you caught it early. Keep us posted and let me know if there’s anything I can do.

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  6. Horses mean so much to us, and I can tell Baldur means a lot to you. I can’t imagine how scary this must be to go through and my heart goes out to you. I hope he is okay and I’m glad to hear it’s benign and it sounds like you will get him the best care possible. He’s a lucky horse : )
    ps. Bladur is stunning and your photos are amazing!!

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